December 3, 2016
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A Call to Discipline
I originally wrote this the day after Thanksgiving, 2016.
One conclusion I’ve come to – or one revelation I’ve received – is that my discipline is sorely lacking. The only things I’ve ever been good at doing consistently are: nothing, watching TV, eating, and sleeping. And most recently, playing on my iPad/iPhone, checking Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, etc. RIDICULOUS!
And the thing is: I could easily see this as a continuing trend. I have no trouble seeing that at all, as a matter of fact.
For example, this blog. When I started it, I did a good job for a while. Then, I got out of the habit. The same with exercise and keeping a healthy diet. Every journal I’ve ever started has gone the same way as the blog, the exercise and the diet. The closest I’ve ever come to being consistent about doing something every day is taking my vitamins and supplements, and even those I skip a day or two at a time.
Then there’s Bible study, quiet time, reading, writing, etc.
I could go on and on but, I’m not going to beat myself up over it. It’s just a point that needs to be made.
I’m 42 years old and I’ve pretty much balked at the establishment of a routine in my own life. I know I do better when I have at least some sort of routine – a certain amount of discipline – and yet……
That is why I have challenged myself to practice this little bit of discipline.
My one discipline for the mornings is to spend time DAILY in the Bible, and I already have a plan laid out. I do not have an agenda or any kind of ulterior motive except to get some discipline in my life, and to get to know the Bible and my Heavenly Father (Abba). These are my “baby steps”.
I’ve typically only gone to the Lord, or my Bible, whenever I’ve needed something or felt desperate. Most of my life, I’ve tried to handle my junk myself so as not to bother God too much. Truth be told, I’d rather not have to need God (or anyone else) at all. Add to this the fact that God also goes by the name Abba Father, and things get particularly complicated for me since I received some wounds from my biological father during some pivotal years in my life. Thus, I’ve spend a lot of years relegating God to the periphery of my life while playing the “good church girl” who does and says all the right things so as not to rock the boat so much that He might bail on me.
I wanted to be the conductor of my own train while appearing to allow God to do it. As I matured, I began to turn over more and more control, but I still tended to run in and snatch back the wheel whenever things started getting bumpy or rocky.
After several years of marriage, my issues with men (stemming from some unfortunate encounters early on in my life) had been mostly massaged out by the faithful and honest love of my husband. I found I had reached a point in my walk with him AND the Lord, that I could trust my man when he said he felt like he had received direction from the Lord. So, I would trust the Lord’s conducting of my husband’s train, believing, at least in part, that it was all the same train.
And it was. But….it was not. All at the same time. And since the metaphor starts to get a little messy here, I’m going to leave off by saying: I learned the hard way that trusting the Lord through my husband is not the same as trusting the Lord for myself.
A thought occurred to me as I wrote that last sentence that I’m going to call Divine Inspiration: Exactly how did I get to the place in my marriage where this girl who had had such terrible experiences with men could be a married woman of 20+ years able to trust her husband’s guidance so fully that she would walk through fire with him, and then continue to walk through it (OKAY, stumble through it) without him after it became clear that the Lord was not going to answer her/their prayers the way she hoped?
That answer was easy. I have gotten to know my husband. We’ve spent years together. Not every day of our 23 years, but more than not. I know his intentions toward me. I know his heart toward me. I believe him when he says he loves me and cares for me and wants to provide for me. I believe he will not do anything to jeopardize our relationship. It’s been a long, and sometimes hard, road getting there, but I’m there. And I got there – WE got there – by putting in the time. Something I’ve not been quite so good at doing in my walk with the Lord.
I’ve had 23 years with my husband. But I’ve been calling myself a Christian since I was 8 and, now, I’m 42 years old. I’ve been calling myself a Christian since BEFORE any of my issues with men ever began. Yet, here I am, having still quite a bit of book knowledge but not nearly enough heart knowledge about someone I’ve been in a “relationship” with for more of my life than almost anyone else I know.
So…I’m going to take some time this year getting to know Lord, getting to know Abba Father. Surely, He’s worth at least a year of my dedicated time.
(BY THE WAY: as I write this, the date is 12/14/16. In case I needed any further confirmation that discipline is something that I need to be working on, my Sunday school teacher, offered a lesson on spiritual resolutions that he is going to challenge us to adopt for 2017. They all revolve around disciplining ourselves to be more diligent students of the Bible and spending more time with the Lord in our private lives.)
December 2, 2016
December 2, 2016 Devotional
Long time, no see :(
WOW! It’s been a LONG time! I feel like I should apologize for not posting so long but I know that’s just performance-based anxiety-guilt talking, so I won’t. I also won’t make any lame excuses about time having gotten away from me.
Truth be told, when I started this blog, it was in a desperate attempt to bring something of value to God and to be thought something special enough to have some very desperate prayers answered. He did answer those prayers and, immediately upon receiving my answers, my life entered a surreal tailspin. WHY? Well, the short answer is because God did not answer the way I wanted Him to. He didn’t even answer the way He typically had for most of my life up until that point.
What I began to realize – with the Lord’s help – was that I had been under a pseudo-assumption that God and I had entered into a type of contract. I say “pseudo” because, had you asked me if I believed that, I would’ve said NO. Because, of course, that is absurd. God wants it all, or nothing at all. There is no contract. No deal. No negotiations. No bargaining. But prior to that one fateful day in March 2013, my life had pretty much resembled a contract. To my mind, at least.
I did my part. I was the obedient, good little, Bible-study-attending, never-miss-a-Sunday-or-Wednesday-service, church girl. And God did His part and delivered me SWIFTLY – as promised – from ALL my troubles.
It was a pretty sweet deal. Until it wasn’t.
Because, one day, He said NO. And that no led to another no. And that no led to another no. Until the “no’s” were piled so deep I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever hear a “yes” again.
And just when I felt like I couldn’t possibly hear another “no,” Rejection came. Well-meaning, good hearted, people thinking they were helping (to shake me loose from an obviously-self-imposed rut; who thought I was somehow guilty of the sins of pride and sloth; or that I was refusing to help myself by not stepping out in faith, by trusting God) dropped my hand.
I suppose they felt like they were the only ones walking the path we were on and they were tired of carrying me or dragging my dead weight. I don’t know exactly.
All I know is what I was told: we simply do not have the grace to serve you and your family anymore.
BOOM! Another no! Only this time it came from Job’s friends and was paired with exhortations to get on with my repenting because surely I was sinning.
The damage was more than I could bear. AND, I was mad! My friends had hurt me and God had let them, and I couldn’t make anyone believe that the way there saw things was not how they really were. How could I continue to attend a church where a small – but very important – group of people (people who had walked with us from the beginning but now had not grace left to extend) would now turn their backs on me?
Did I put more trust in them than I had placed in God? The answer was obvious, given how devastated I was over something I had been certain for two years was inevitable.
People will always fail me. And God will let it happen whenever I start to trust in men more than I trust in Him.
This is a lesson I’ve had to learn many times and, sometimes, very painfully. And still, my first instinct is to ALWAYS try to figure things out.
It is with that in mind that I have chosen this year’s course of study.I am choosing to focus on Abba Father this year. What He says about me. What the Bible says about Him. His promises to me. And how His Love for me is based on His Goodness and not on my ability to do enough good often enough to feel worthy of that Love.
The plan I had before (the plan I had when I started) was all about me bringing something to God, hoping He’d love me. This plan – which I’ve prayed over since before Thanksgiving – has its roots in The Father, and not in my own pride. My goal is to draw near to God so that He will draw near to me.
I’m going to be blogging my S.O.A.P. notes for each scripture. I will also Instagram a shot of each page (if you prefer to follow me there: @pattyh29). I will be using the hashtags #gettingtoknowthefather and #iknowabbalovesme.
I would love for you to follow along with me and let me know your thoughts. BUT, I’ll be here, even if you don’t. Loving My Father and Letting the Father love me.
Blessings, Patty
Day Sixty-Eight: Thirsting for Justice
READ: Read the passage slowly.
JOB 24:1-10 (Remember! The text is from The Message bible.)
“But if Judgment Day isn’t hidden from the Almighty, why are we kept in the dark? There are people out there getting by with murder–stealing and lying and cheating. They rip off the poor and exploit the unfortunate, Push the helpless into the ditch, bully the weak so that they fear for their lives. The poor, like stray dogs and cats, scavenge for food in back alleys. They sort through the garbage of the rich, eke out survival on handouts. Homeless, they shiver through cold nights on the street; they’ve no place to lay their heads. Exposed to the weather, wet and frozen, they huddle in makeshift shelters. Nursing mothers have their babies snatched from them; the infants of the poor are kidnapped and sol. They go about patched and threadbare; even the hard workers go hungry.”
THINK: Read the passage again, noting the words or phrases that touch you.
(1) Why do these phrases touch you?
(2) What is the heart of God like for these situations?
Though God stays hidden in order to let human beings be the autonomous beings he created them to be, he delights in bringing justice. Slowly read aloud Isaiah 1:5 twice:
My deliverance arrives on the run, my salvation right on time. I’ll bring justice to the peoples. Even faraway islands will look to me and take hope in my saving power.
Ponder your heart’s response to this.
PRAY: Ask God to intervene in situations you think are unjust, small or big. If nothing comes to you, look at a newspaper or watch a newscast. Then come before God and ask for people to be treated with fairness and goodness and kindness.
LIVE: While you pray, hold in front of you a symbol of the world’s troubles, perhaps a newspaper or newsmagazine, a globe or map. Hold it up for God’s light to permeate.
I recently restarting reading Outlive Your Life by Max Lucado. This devotional reading made me think of a question that he asks in the first chapter of the book (or rather that was asked to him before he wrote the book). “When your grandchildren discover you lived during a day in which 1.75 billion people were poor and 1 billion were hungry, how will they judge your response?” He goes on to say: “We are given a choice…an aooprtunity to make a big difference during a difficult time. What if we did? What if we rocked the world with hope? Infiltrated all corners with God’s love and life? What if we followed the example of the Jerusalem church?” We need to remember, as Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) says, “We are God’s masterpeice. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us a long ago.”
Given that I am alive today and not at any other point in time in history, I have to conclude that I have a purpose TODAY. That this life is the one God intended for me to live and that I ought to find out – from Him – what He wanted me to be doing with it, and then DO IT.
Given that I am a Christian, one can conclude that I claim to have given my life over to following Jesus Christ. What should that look like? Well, Jesus had no place to lay his head or no home to call his own and no job at which he worked to make money, yet the Bible never mentions that he ever went hungry, had no place to sleep, or ever had to worry about providing for himself. That’s a pretty radical way to live. Then, he went and called 12 other men to follow him into that same kind of life. Granted, things didn’t quite work out the way they all had hoped with one of those 12, but 12 were called nonetheless. He didn’t just call single men, either. He called people who had families and jobs and responsibilities and told them to drop everything and follow him. And THEY DID! That means that they were signing on for the same kind of worldly-uncertain existence that Jesus was living – the kind of existence that simply is not prudent for a family man. Jesus didn’t even promise that their families would be taken care of. Yet, he still called them and they still went.
And what did they do? They went around reaching out to the most marginalized people of the area, healing the sick, comforting the hurting, touching the untouchable, basically talking to the most over-looked, most-ostracized people in the land. Because Jesus came to seek and to save that which was lost. Because the people who are well do not need a physician, but those who are sick and hurting.
What should that mean for us today? How can we take a cue from Jesus and reach out the marginalized, the ostracized, and the left-behind? What if we all really practiced what we preach and live like we believed that everything we have came from Our Father above and that He gave it to us in order to allow us to use it to bless others, knowing that Our Father never runs out of provisions, that He cares about even the sparrows and He always makes sure they have plenty to eat, and that He cares about us even more than the sparrows? What if we prayed, Like Jabez did, that God would bless us so that we could be a blessing to others, and then, we went out and blessed others? What if we prayed that God would show us where He has already blessed us and then that He would show us how he watned us to use those blessings to bless others? What if we stopped being Dead Seas and started being canals through which all of God’s blessings could flow rather than stock up, and then stagnate and die? Would there be 1.75 billion poor people or 1 billion hungry people in the world?
What if we were honest with ourselves and stopped calling what we’re doing “being prudent” and started calling it what it is: afraid that God won’t take care of us? And then, once we were honest with oursevles, how about we try living life as if we were going to take God at His Word, trusting that He meant it when He said He would take care of us, that He loved us, and that we really can live a life in which we FEAR NOT?! How different would our lives look then, I wonder.
Dear Heavenly Father, You are so good to us. We could never thank you enough for all the blessings you have given us, and I know that we will never know how much we truly have to thank you for, this side of heaven. But Lord, today, I want to thank you that I have never once been hungry or homeless or had to worry about where my next meal or full night’s sleep was going to come from. I have never really been sick. I have always had clean water to drink. I have never had to scrounge around in a trash heap for my food or for things to sell to provide food for my family. I have never been enslaved or even had to worry about it. I have never had to contemplate selling my body in order to have money to feed my family. Worse yet, I have never had to contemplate selling one of my children in order to provide a better life for one of the other children. I have never had to worry about whether or not I would be stoned for praising you. I have always had a Bible (or more than one) and I have never had to fear for my life for carrying it. In so many ways, I have never had to fear for anything. So, forgive me Lord, for when I doubt you and for thinking that you might forget about me. And forgive me Lord, for those times when I have taken your blessings for granted, thinking that they might run out or that they were not enough, for I have never had to worry about not having enough.
Lord, having had such a small taste of what it can be like to wonder about tomorrow, help me remember to always be grateful for what I have. Show me where I can be a blessing to those who do not have as much as me, and help me to bless them in such a way that they do not feel as though they are being pitied. Help me to remember that pity is terribly condescending and that it feels horrible. Help me to remember that a funnel has no say-so on what gets passed through it, and it has no hold on or claim to what passes through it. It’s only job is to funnel. Help me, Lord, to be a good funnel, trusting that I will get what you have planned for me to get, when you have planned for me to get it. Not earlier or later, but right on time. No more and no less, but always enough. For you are the Creator of the Universe and I am an image-bearer. You loved me from before the foundations of the Earth, and I can trust you to provide for all my needs, according to your riches in glory. Help me, Lord, to remember this when you call me to let go of more of the blessings than I feel comfortable releasing.
All these things I pray, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
I’m back. Again.
I apologize that it’s been so long since I’ve posted. Sometimes, life just gets ahead of me and my discipline falters. I wish I could say that, while I was away, I had been diligent about working through this devotional and only remiss in not typing it up or sharing it. But, I have not. I have been studying though, don’t get me wrong; but, I have been working on getting in touch with who I am – in the Lord – again. I had lost sight of that over the course of the last few years. God has allowed our family to get into a place where our absolute faith in Him is essential to doing this walk right. Yeah, yeah, I know. It ought to be absolutely essential, regardless. However, we – my husband and I – had been going along for quite a while thinking we were certain we knew what God’s plan was and WE were making it work. We had consulted with Him, and decided that He had, in fact, signed off on our plan, that He was on board with it, so we took off.
Then, life went sideways. Or, rather, we were obedient to God, told Him “Your Will be done,” and it was, and it did not look like we had planned. That was fine. He only changed one part of it. There were certain parts of it that I was sure He had not changed. I could feel it. However, instead of turning to Him solely for direction, I kept turning to friends whose lives seemed to have worked out just fine. That’s when things starting getting difficult. Funny, isn’t it, how we go to God for the plan but then, when it doesn’t work out the way we think, we start looking for folks with skin on so that we can work a more familiar plan?!
The problem was: I had made a vow to God to do this life the way that He wanted me to. And only God knows how that is supposed to look. God has prepared good works for me to do, and is preparing me for those good works. Yet, I kept turning to people to see if I could figure out that plan. I could tell them everything that was on my mind, but only God knows the real song of my heart. So, whenever I would start to try to lead, I would feel frustrated. Whenever I would get upset that I couldn’t explain my situtaion with any words other than “God just won’t allow me to do that” and I would get a blank stare, I would get frustrated.
Finally, I just got tired of trying to please God and man. So, I threw up my hands, and cried out to God: “I will not do this anymore! I will not continue to spin my gears trying to make people understand something that I cannot understand myself. All I have is the truth of my situation: that You have tied my hands. That answer is not enough for all the people I keep giving it to. I cannot help that. I know it to be true but I have a choice here: I can keep trying to please man, or I can please You and let man shake out where he will. One way has always gotten me to where I supposed to be and in perfect peace; the other way has always left me frustrated because I cannot please everyone all the time, regardless of how much I want to. One way offers me all the space I need to be exactly who You have created me to be; the other way insists that I bottle up a part of myself because ALL OF ME is not quite safe enough for this particular person. One way has the Creator of the entire Universe in complete control; the other way has one part of creation (me) constantly trying to snag part of that control out of the Creator’s hands thinking she could do things better.”
When I come to the end of my life, and I stand before the throne, all I am going to have to offer is my yes or no answer to whether or not I did the will of God in my life. Any turning to the side, and I will have to say no. There have been plenty of those times. But never in my past, have I ever arrested control of my life back from God and had it turn out well.
This time, I tried. Several times. And every time, God said NO! My mother has always said that I am extremely teachable. But I just kept getting denied. For 2 years. It might not be the complete truth to say that I tried everything I could think of to change my situation. But everything I did try came back as a flop. And when I would share my feelings about what was happening – “I’ve tried many different things and, everytime, it’s like God has smacked my hand and told me ‘I’ve got this.'” – I would get blank stares, or questions like “What does that mean?”, coupled with statements about how odd my situation is and what they would or would not do in my situation, or what they felt I ought to be doing, since I – apparently – wasn’t doing anything. Tell me: what’s a girl to do when she finds out that doing the will of God is not good enough? Eventually she starts to question EVERYTHING. I talked to everyone I know about the situation. The majority of people told me: do something. A few people told me: you obeyed God and this is where it got you; He will continue to get you through it. Do what you think He’s telling you and the rest of us have to get on board.
So, instead of continually spinning my wheels, I decided to ACTUALLY let God drive. He has been doing a fine job. I would like to say that my situation looks different than it did before. In some aspects, it does but, in most, it does not. Even so, I have a sense of peace now that I haven’t had in about 4 years. As the saying goes, I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future. I know that the God I serve is already there, preparing the way for me. Everything I encounter there I will be suited for because of everything I have already gone through, and because I let God work IN ME in the meanwhile. I don’t know how the future is going to look, and my peace does not hang on knowing. God’s got this, and I will trust Him to carry me through it.
Leter today, Day Sixty-Eight: Thirsting for Justice.
Love, Patty
Day Sixty-Six: Talking Transparently with God
READ: Read the passage slowly, noticing the raw way Job communicates about God.
JOB 19:13-27
(13-20) “God alienated my family from me; everyone who knows me avoids me. My relatives and friends have all left; houseguests forget I ever existed. The servant girls treat me like a bum off the street, look at me like they’ve never seen me before. I call my attendant and he ignores me, ignores me even though I plead with him. My wife can’t stand to be around me anymore. I’m repulsive to my family. Even street urchins despise me; when I come out, they taunt and jeer. Everyone I’ve ever been close to abhors me; my dearest loved ones reject me. I’m nothing but a bag of bones; my life hangs by a thread.
(21-22) “Oh, friends, dear friends, take pity on me. God has come down hard on me! Do you have to be hard on me, too? Don’t you ever tire of abusing me?
(23-27) “If only my words were written in a book – better yet, chiseled in stone! Still, I know that God lives – the One who gives me back my life – and eventually he’ll take his stand on earth. And I’ll see him – even though I get skinned alive! – see God myself, with my very own eyes. Oh, how I long for that day!”
THINK: As you read Job’s honest description of his situation–what it’s really like–what word or phrase gives voice to some of your own thoughts, feelings, and desires? Perhaps one of Job’s statements bring to mind something in your life that’s weighing on you or confuses you.
In all honesty, I have to admit that I have never felt this kind of rejection. However, I have been put in the position , in our current situation, in which I can see that, did my husband and I not have the relationships that we do, it very well could happen. Not only that; it often does to most people. And, to be even more painfully honest, what’s worse is, I would have been one of the people that would – most likely – ostracize someone who was in the position we are in now.
How easy it is to judge when we’ve not been made to see where we need compassion!
To put a more positive spin on things: I think I’d have to say that this realization has been one of the best things to come out of what we’re going through. Being forced to walk a path that I never thought I’d have to walk because I have been obedient. But not just that: my kids are being forced to walk it as well. This is something my husband and I have discussed at length. If this is something we have to pay for because of sins in our past; FINE. But why make our kids pay the price as well. We are living under the New Covenant. There is not supposed to be any more of this: the sins of the Father are visited on the children to the 3rd and 4th generation.
But see how, even in that statement, I made the same kind of judgment that Job’s friends were making. For the majority of the time I’ve been alive, I have always equated suffering with wrong-doing, with punishment for sin (whether I remembered the sin or not). I’ve always figured that if I was suffering, I was being punished, which means I MUST HAVE done something wrong. So, imagine my shock when, my husband and I were obedient to what we felt like the Lord was calling us to do, and then things did not go the way they are “supposed to”. Then, the confusion is only compounded by the idea that we could pay a price for this for the rest of our lives.
I am thankful for the blessing of friends who have not behaved toward me as Job’s friends behaved toward him. But I am humbled by the knowledge that I have, far too many times, been one of Job’s friends – whether I said the words out loud or not.
PRAY: Talk to God about the feelings and thoughts that surface. Be as open as Job as you share them with him. You might write them out to him or just talk to him like a friend – one you’re in conflict with, but one who wants to work through that conflict with you.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you that, with you, nothing is wasted! Thank you that, even in the midst of hard times, you continue to work all things for our benefit. Thank you for the assurance in Scripture that says you have a plan to prosper us, and not to harm us. Thank you for making all things beautiful in their time.
For those who are reading this, who are in the midst of a painful set of circumstances, and can’t understand why, I pray for peace and comfort. I pray You would give them glimpses of the work you are doing that they might be able to make enough sense out of what’s going on to keep going. I pray that You would show them where you’re molding them and shaping them, transforming them more into the likeness of Your Son.
For anyone reading this who has been falsely accused and is suffering persecution, for their spouses, for their children and other loved ones: I pray that you would offer them the assurance that these circumstances have nothing to do with how pleased with them You are. Living in a fallen world, in a world filled with sin, sometimes it’s easy to feel like You have abandoned us at our moments of deepest need. Lord, I pray that you would give each of these people the peace that you have not forsaken them, that you are not deaf to their cries, that you are hearing their prayers, and that they have been answered, though they just cannot see the answer yet. I pray for a renewed sense of hope for good things to come. I pray that their relationships with you would be strengthened, taken to a level deeper than they thought they could ever go.
I pray for fresh insights into the nature of your character. I pray that what seem to be like paradoxes in your character would be cleared up as they come to see that you are both just and merciful, that you do not wish that we would suffer but that you have allowed it in order that you might be glorified.
I pray for “AHA” moments: moments where we realize the truth of something we have known with our heads for so long has finally sunken in, finally taken hold, and we are now able to walk with a sense of peace that we have never had before, and with a deeper understanding of how you work in our lives.
Finally, Lord, I want to thank you for the gift of your Son, Jesus Christ. Thank you that we do not have a high priest who cannot identify with us in our suffering. Thank you that we have a representative before Your Throne who knows how badly pain feels because He has felt it. Thank you that we have an ambassador who knows what betrayal feels like because He has felt it. Thank you for descending to Earth, in bodily form, to live as a man, so that you can know how it feels to be here. Thank you for the hope that offers, because, sometimes, just knowing that someone else has been through what we are going through and they made it, is enough to help us keep going. Thank you for those moments when you allow us to see that we are not as far away from you as we feel. Thank you for those times when you show us just a glimpse of what you working out of us and working into us. Thank you for those times when, we get to see the front of the tapestry of our lives, instead of just the knotted back.
And for those times during the refining process when we do not have to sit in the fire, or have to be banged on, I thank you for rest.
In Jesus’ Name I pray, Amen
LIVE: As you go through the rest of your day, pay close attention to thoughts and feelings (similar to or different from those in your prayer time) that arise in relation to events, conversations, and experiences. Tell God about them as they come up, so you’re carrying on an extended dialogue with him all day long.
At the end of the day, take a few moments to remember what happened, in particular what it was like to talk to God throughout the day’s circumstances.
Day Sixty-Seven: Empty Comfort
READ: As you read the passage, consider what might have been comforting for Job and what might have left him more hurt than before.
Job 22:1-11
Once again, Eliphaz the Temanite took up this theme:
“Are any of us strong enough to give God a hand, or smart enough to give him advice? So what if you were righteous – would God Almighty even notice? Even if you gave a perfect performance, do you think he’d applaud? Do you think it’s because he cares about your purity that he’s disciplining you, putting you on the spot? Hardly! It’s because you’re a first-class moral failure, because there’s no end to your sins. When people came to you for help, you took the shirts off their backs, exploited their helplessness. You wouldn’t so much as give a drink to the thirsty, or food, not even a scrap, to the hungry. And there you sat, strong and honored by everyone, surrounded by immense wealth! You turned poor widows away from your door; heartless, you crushed orphans. Now you’re the one trapped in terror, paralyzed by fear. Suddenly the tables have turned! How do you like living in the dark, sightless, up to your neck in flood waters?”
THINK:
Have there been times when you wished people would refrain from giving you perfectly packaged and Christian cliches in an attempt to console you? “Pray harder.” “You’ll have to persevere.” “Oh, God’s just working on you.” “Search for the sin in your life and get rid of it.” “Obey God.” Maybe you didn’t know what you wanted in your suffering, but that definitely was’t it. Sometimes true comfort comes through silence and a hug.
Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar don’t offer comfort, but instead attempt to convince Job of his sins. This time it’s the social sin of neglecting the poor, hungry, and the naked – none of which Job is guilty of.
Who are the people you interact with on a regular basis who are suffering emotional, mental, spiritual, or physical pain?
What are some ways you can appropriately comfort them in their pain?
PRAY: Who are hurting people in your life? Pray for them, submitting to God’s guidance for how to best serve and minister to them.
LIVE: Consider a friend or acquaintance who needs comfort. Prayerfully approach a suffering individual, asking God to keep you from being someone who merely offers trite words that fall short.
I wrote about this very thing just a couple of days ago, being silent when you don’t have anything helpful to say. I have been guilty of this more times than I’d like to admit. I haven’t done it on purpose. What happens is that I just get so uncomfortable with the pain of the person sitting in front of me that I just ant it go away. I’ve wanted to be able to say something, anything to help them make some sense of a senseless situation. Or maybe, I just wanted to feel like I had done something more than just sit there. Or worse, often, I just wanted to stop feeling uncomfortable myself? How arrogant! The sad fact is, whether my intention was to do harm or not, I have done some harm.
For that realization, I have to say that this situation we’ve been living through has been a blessing. Another blessing is that I can even say that. This time a year ago, I’d have never been able to say that anything about this was a blessing. I had found a good thing or two that happened as a result of being allowed to go through our ordeal. But, to say that the whole thing is a blessing: NO! Not a year ago. Not almost 2 years ago now.
Yesterday, I was faced with a friend whose husband has been sick for a very long time.
He is currently in hospice care, and has been once before. He’s been close to “going home” many times. My friend was pretty certain that all she wanted for her man was peace and the healing that being called home to Heaven could bring. Yesterday, she had to tell me that he is getting close to the end. As prepared as this woman has been saying she is, when she stood before me yesterday, she was a mess. She and I did not get to know each other until after our situation started, and ever since, she has been a source of inspirational comfort for me many times. She understands suffering and has not had trite words to offer me. Yesterday, because of what I’ve had to go through, I was able to stand in front of her and have more than trite words of Scripture taken out of context and Christian cliches to offer her. It was no less painful standing before her, watching her heart break, but I didn’t feel like I just needed to make it go away because I was uncomfortable. I was able to look at her, allow her to feel her pain, allow her to be the most important person to me right at that moment, and respect what she was going through and how she was feeling, without feeling the need to minimize it or make sense of it.
I have known since this whole thing started that everything I would go through would help me when I started working as a counselor, but I had no idea it would help me to become a better friend too. Even if that’s all I get from this, if it keeps me from being one of Job’s friends to one of my friends, what a gift that would be to those who I call friend!
Day Sixty-Five: The Mystery of a Mighty God
READ: Read the passage. In Job’s response to his recent tragedy, notice the powerful feelings that underlie his words: fear, anger, grief, and hope.
JOB 9:2-4, 14-23
(2-4) “The question is, ‘How can mere mortals get right with God?’ If we wanted to bring our cases before him, what would chance would we have? Not one in a thousand! God’s wisdom is deep, God’s power so immense, who could take him on and come out in one piece?
(14-20) “So now could I ever argue with him, construct a defense that would influence God? Even though I’m innocent, I could never prove it; I can only throw myself on the Judge’s mercy. If I called on God and he himself answered me, then, and only then, would I believe that he’d heard me. As it is, he knocks me about from pillar to post, beating me up, black-and-blue, for no good reason. He won’t even let me catch my breath, piles bitterness upon bitterness. If it’s a question of who’s stronger, he wins, hands down! If it’s a question of justice, who’ll serve him the subpoena? Even though innocent, anything I say incriminates me; blameless as I am, my defense just makes me sound worse.
(21-23) “Believe me, I’m blameless. I don’t understand whats going on. I hate my life! Since either way it ends up the same, I can only conclude that God destroys the good right along with the bad. When calamity hits and brings sudden death, he folds his arms, aloof from the despair of the innocent.”
THINK: What phrase in Job’s lament stands out to you? Spend time meditating on it. Mentally chew it the way you would chew a piece of gum–repeat it to yourself, pausing each time to see where it leads your mind and emotions.
PRAY: Keeping your phrase in mind, picture God in the room with you. How do you relate to his presence? Maybe you sit in reverence at his power, wisdom, and justice, realizing you’ve forgotten or minimized those qualities lately. Maybe you feel anguish like Job. Maybe you open up to your desire for a rescuer, for Christ’s mercy.
At the end of this time, recall what this experience held for you. Write down for future reference anything that seemed significant.
LIVE: During the next week, before your begin your times of prayerful reading, recall your picture of God in the room. Recollect who he was to you and retain this image of him in your mind during each prayer time. Let that aspect of God mingle with the God you relate to during the week.
Such powerful words Job uses here. There was a time when I would have thought that talking this way to the Creator would have been tantamount to heresy, to begging God to strike me down. There have been times when I have felt this way that I’m not sure, had I said what I really wanted to say, that He wouldn’t have struck me down. But, the longer I walk through this life, and the more hardships I see and live through, the more convinced I become that being just this honest with God, yet not disrespectful of His Power and Glory and Majesty, are precisely what He wants from me. After all, would I not be this honest with my earthly father? If I had been as hurt and betrayed as Job felt, wouldn’t I spill my guts to my earthly father, in hopes that he’d be able to help me, or comfort me. Of course, I would. And if I would be this honest with my earthly father, when he can’t possibly know what I’m thinking, why wouldn’t I be this honest with my Heavenly Father when He already knows it all anyway.
Likewise, if I was going to a physician or a counselor, wouldn’t I also share all that I could, in hopes of finding a cure, or receiving some sort of help or therapy or advice that would lead me out of the darkness I was in? And yet, how often do I refuse to go to God?
But…that’s not what strikes me about this passage. What sticks with me here is how Job accuses God of being aloof from the despair of the innocent. I don’t know that I can even count the number of times I’ve felt that way since our mess started. Like God was just sitting up there on his throne on high, completely untouched by all the heartache and pain down here, particularly mine.
I’m not sure that aloof is the right word. At least, not now. But, it’s precisely the word I’d have used as recently as about 6 months ago. I don’t believe that God is aloof. I think that he is saddened by the fact that His Creation lives with the effects of sin, every day. I think it pains him when those who were created in his image have to suffer. But, because He is God, He can take those hard times and touch circumstances and use them to transform us more into the image of Christ and to do so in such a way that it is utterly unmistakable that HE is the one doing the work!
I heard something in class today, that helps me keep this in perspective. I’ve known it all along I guess, but had forgotten somewhere along the way.
Christ suffered here on earth, what makes us think we won’t.
Something else I believe: if there’s no God, then there is no hope that any of the suffering we experience will ever make any sense or ever come to any good use.
Where I am now is at the point that I am choosing every day to have faith that God is telling me the truth. I am choosing every day to picture God, sitting in the room with me, telling me He understands that what I’m going through is hard, but also that I can do it. I will make it through this. I picture Him telling me that He wants me to trust Him with all my ugliness since He’s already seen it, and loves me anyway. I picture Him asking me to share with Him those thoughts very thoughts that would make me sound just like Job does in this passage, and trust that He is not going to kick me out of the kingdom or tell me that I can’t come Home when He calls me. I picture Him asking me to believe Him, to believe in Him and to have Faith that I can believe the Bible is true when it says He loves me and does not show partiality. I picture Him saying to Satan, “Have you seen my servant, Patty? Look at her.” Then, I picture Satan looking at him, saying, “well, of course, you’ve protected her for her whole life. Why wouldn’t she love you. Take her life away from her. Take her husband away from her. Then see if she doesn’t turn her back on you.” I picture the same scenario with my husband in Job’s place, with my children in Job’s place. Then, I pray for strength to carry on, trusting that God will not leave us or forsake us, and that He will trade our ashes for beauty, one day. It has been promised, and I will choose to trust it daily, until I can learn to rest in it.
Day Sixty-Four: Giving Comfort
READ: Read the passage aloud slowly, keeping in mind that Eliphaz from Teman is speaking to his friend Job, who has just experienced the death of his children and the loss of all he had.
JOB 5:17-21
(17-19) “So, what a blessing when God steps in and corrects you! Mind you, don’t despise the discipline of the Almighty God! True, he wounds, but he also dresses the wound; the same hand that hurts you, heals you. From one disaster after another he delivers you; no matter what the calamity, the evil can’t touch you–
(20-21) “In famine, he’ll keep you from starving; in war, from being gutted by the sword. You’ll be protected from vicious gossip and live fearless through any catastrophe.
THINK: Read the passage again and put yourself in the place of Job, who listened to these words. How do they fall on your ear?
Read the passage again and put yourself in the place of Eliphaz. What feelings and attitudes fill you as you speak these words?
- What makes a comforter really helpful? Is telling the truth enough?
- What did Job need from Eliphaz?
- What might be in the heart of a person who preaches at someone who is so far down?
PRAY: Ask the Comforter, the Holy Spirit, to give you what is needed to truly comfort despairing people. If you want guidance for your prayer, ask the Comforter to give you tools to help people in trouble go to him. Ask him to give you tools to draw them out to say to him whatever they need to express. Plead with the Comforter to make you his messenger, to prevent you from moralizing and giving advice.
LIVE: Rest your mind on someone who is in deep trouble. Pray only the word PEACE for them–no suggestions, no fixing, no rescuing. Just trusting.
I have been Eliphaz so many times in my life I cannot even count. Maybe that sounds weird coming from a counselor. Maybe it just sounds insecure. It ought to. Because for myself, I can say that when I have sounded like Eliphaz it has been because I have been extremely insecure. It has happened most often when someone is sitting in front of me telling me a sad story of something that has happened in his (or her) life, and I’ve wanted to say something so desperately to make sense out of all of it. As if I could. I’ve wanted to make it better. I’ve wanted to be comforting but never felt like I had words enough to express my deep sorrow.
Then, my life went sideways. I had plenty of people to talk to, plenty of people willing to listen, who actually cared when they asked me how I felt. And the people who helped me the most were the ones who had no idea what to say, and said so. Or, they said nothing at all. They didn’t try to make sense of my life for me. They didn’t offer me trite passages of Scripture, taken out of context.
But, then, there were people who did have something to offer. You know who they were? The people who had truly suffered in their lives. The comfort they offered, through a well-timed passage of scripture that helped them while they were suffering: that was golden! But…to be honest, I don’t even remember most of those scriptures. What I remember most was the overwhelming sense of being heard and understood. I had been comforted with the comfort they had received when they most needed it. Their spirits ministered to mine in my deepest hour (or hours) of need. It was in those moments that I felt most loved!
It was in those moments, too, that I learned the benefits and blessings and comfort of just sitting with someone who is hurting. Of being willing to hear anything that needed to be said. Of being willing to sit in the uncomfortable silence if there weren’t words enough to express the hurt.
I don’t think I will ever know all the whys concerning our situation. Finally, I’m getting to the point that I don’t feel it will be necessary. What I do know is that this situation could not have been better timed in my education as a Christian counselor and Marriage and Family Therapist. Before this thing happened in my family’s life, I had serious doubts. I doubted if I was pursuing the right line of education. I doubted if I would ever be able to help anybody. I didn’t doubt enough to quit. But then…I don’t quit. By the time you have as much money invested in something as I have in this, you don’t quit. Even if you don’t do anything with it, you don’t quit. Even when life knocks you sideways and you feel like you have no business trying to finish something as “high-falootin'” as a Master’s Degree, you don’t quit.
So, I didn’t quit. And now, here I am, in the last of my classes, and – because of this thing that has happened in my life – I am certain that I have pursued the right line of work. Not only am I certain that I am in the right degree field, but I am convinced that I did not actually choose it.
In fact, the last time I was here at Liberty, taking the first two of my four intensives, people asked me why I chose the Marriage and Family program instead of the License Professional Counselor program. The only answer I could give: I didn’t, actually. It chose me. In the first place, I had no idea there was such a thing as a Licensed Professional Counseling program when I first signed on at Liberty. But, I knew that I wanted to help families. My husband and I had both lived through our own parents’ divorces, and we were making it, so I also wanted to be able to offer my services to struggling couples. So…the first person I talked to suggested the Marriage and Family program and that’s what I took. It was just as simple, and unplanned, as that.
And now…here I am. And once I decided to stop whining about the valley God decided to lead me through, I began to see the beauty all around me. It seems weird to say it, and I don’t know quite how to explain it, but I have come to see beauty in the midst of suffering. Or, in the vulnerability and the sweetness of the depth of relationships that suffering can have if you let God do His Work.
Don’t get me wrong. The process of suffering is ugly. It hurts and it doesn’t make sense most of the time. But, if you can look past what’s on the surface, look past the walls people are putting up, and sit with them long enough to trust that you are safe, you will start to see the real person underneath. You will come to a place of being able to love that person as God loves them. And you will see their true beauty. With some people it happens faster than with others. But, fortunately, when you grow up with people who’ve been deeply hurt, you learn really quickly not to let walls and angry barks scare you away. You learn to stick with it, because you know, deep down in your soul, that every person is worth listening to. BUT, you have to get over yourself, and your urge to fix them. They don’t need fixing! They need to be heard. They need to know that someone values them the way their Creator does.
THAT’S WHAT TRUE COMFORT LOOKS LIKE.
Dear Lord Jesus,
Thank you for coming down out of heaven to make a way for us to be able to get there. Thank you that you made a way for us to have peace on this earth, even in the midst of trials and suffering.
Thank you that you do not leave us alone until your work is completed. Thank you for your patience.
I pray, now, for those who are hurting today. I pray that you would comfort them. I pray that you would send them people to comfort them and hold them, and let them be as ugly as they need to be. But, most of all, I pray for them peace. I don’t know all the answers. Nobody does, but you. So, only You can offer the peace that passes all understanding. For all the hurting in the world, for anyone reading this that desperately needs your Comfort right now, please rain it down upon them right now. Make it unmistakably obvious. Make it tangible even.
Thank you for loving us!
In Jesus’ Name I pray,
Amen.
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