August 3, 2017
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Tag Archives: grace
August 2, 2017
Wonder Woman
from: 12/05/2016
Two years ago, (12/05/2014), I took a Facebook quiz that gave me probably the most accurate results I’ve ever gotten from any of the tons of hokey Facebook quizzes I’ve ever taken. The quiz was entitled “Which Justice League Superhero Are You?” Much to my husband’s great delight, I got “Wonder Woman” (he’s a huge fam). Normally, I am a fan of being associated with anything that my husband is a fan of because – ya know – it’s been 23 years and I like him and he likes me and, well, why not?! And besides, what girl in her right mind wouldn’t want to be Wonder Woman. But before I get too off-topic, or start “fan-girling” (as my kids would say), let me tell you: what got me most “excited” (thought I’m not quite sure that’s the right world) was the description behind the results. Here is VERBATIM what I was told:
You are an idealist and a mediator, able to see and respect different viewpoints and to encourage others to embrace acceptance and compromise. You have a deep love for people in all of their diversity and empower those who are underrepresented and less powerful. You are honest and expect others to be honest in turn, even if the truth is painful. Some people are intimidated by your ideals and consider you to be a radical, but you will never let ignorance and cruelty stop you from believing in what’s right. Others might consider you a naïve dreamer, but you are wise beyond your years and your selfless defense of other people is invaluable.
Now…who wouldn’t want that kind of description?! Right?!
Before I go any further, let me just say, for the most part (and I mean, like 99% of the time, the results I get from these quizzes are bogus. And I only take them for fun. However, I always answer the questions honestly simply to see how accurate an assessment is being offered.
This one is extremely accurate, of me at least. And in case you’re wondering, NO, I don’t think it’s accurate because I want it to be. But I have had many people come into my life over my 42 years and the ones I’ve had the time to get to know the best, and who’ve gotten to know me truly, have all said the same thing.
However, lest you think I’m about to break my arm patting my own back, I would like to tell you why I am sharing these quiz results with you.
For most of my life, I have wanted to be a part of the in-crowd but was relegated to the shadows. For just as long, I have known this was treatment NOBODY deserves. But because most people believe they are bound by stupid, societal, “supposed to” rules which perpetually feed an unfair and imbalanced caste system, we are all subjected to various forms of “ASSIMILATE OR DIE.”
However, I have not lived my entire life on the outskirts. In fact, I have been right in the thick of the in-crowd a couple of times in my life, and MOSTLY I was happy to be there. I felt like I had finally made it, like I had received all I had ever wanted. You know what I found? “ASSIMILATE OR DIE” is in full effect within the group too. While there are profoundly unbreakable rules in place designed to keep outsiders OUTSIDE the group, there are also just as many rules in place to keep insiders to the group in their place.
I never enjoyed being an outsider. I always thought people surely must not know what they were missing. Cliques were so stupid. However, as much as I couldn’t stand being an outsider, the constraints of being part of the in-crowd are worse FOR ME.
The safety of the in-crowd hinges on a willingness to jealously and zealously guard the borders of the group. But I could not do it. I would not.
People are people. Status doesn’t matter. In-crowd, outsider, doesn’t matter to me. What matters to me is your story.
What’s more?! I’ve felt more accepted by outsiders more often than I’ve ever felt accepted by the in-crowd. And the kicker: I didn’t have to sell my soul to get it. Furthermore, I’ve learned some of my most profound theological and spiritual lessons from the outsiders.
You see, one of my closest friends was THE major outcast in the town where she grew up. Another dabbled in witchcraft in her youth. Yet another has tattoos the likes of which would have been looked down upon by many of my more “supposed-to” prone friends. And the man I’m married to is someone I’d have never been allowed to date. One thing they all have in common (besides me) is they all have a story I’ve seen many folks balk at getting to know because they are good, “supposed to” stories.
Being part of the in-crowd, too often, has required that I set aside such foolishness as thinking everyone’s story deserves to be heard. Maybe it is naïve of me, but I’ve always thought the passages in Scripture where Jesus healed lepers and touched the most untouchable ought to be our leading examples of how to treat people. If Jesus could minister to lepers, prostitutes, and tax collectors, surely those who call themselves Christians ought to be ministering to the addicts, prostitutes, homeless, etc.; to ask them to obey Scripture by not preferring the rich and giving them a seat of great honor in our temples.
If that makes me naïve or a radical so be it. If it makes me an idealist, FINE. If it’s intimidating, so be it. My only response is: if my way of thinking somehow threatens your way of life, perhaps that says more about you than me. Personally, I’ve spent enough of my life apologizing for believing what the Bible says and choosing to be obedient while good people go unknown and outcast for failing to live up to the fickle and arbitrary standards of a small group of “supposed to,” clique-ish folks who think they’ve arrived when really, we’re all still just trying to make it.
Seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God and see how many interesting but saved-by-grace outcasts He leads you to.
You’ll be amazed!
December 14, 2016
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Day Fifty-One: Our Lives are Mere Shadows
READ: David is blessing God in this passage. To see his entire prayer, read the expanded passage, seeing how he dedicates to God the money and materials generously given by him and all the Israelites for building the temple.
1 Chronicles 29:12-19
(12-13) Riches and glory come from you,
you’re ruler over all;
You hold strength and power in the palm of your hand
to build up and strengthen all.
And here we are, O God, our God, giving thanks to you,
praising your splendid Name.
(14-19) “But me — who am I, and who are these my people, that we should presume to be giving something to you? Everything comes from you; all we’re doing is giving back what we’ve been given from your generous hand. As far as you’re concerned, we’re homeless, shiftless wanderers, like our ancestors, our lives are mere shadows, hardly anything to us. God, our God, all these materials–these piles of stuff for building a house of worship for you, honoring your Holy Name–it all came from you! I know, dear God, that you care nothing for the surface – you want us, our true selves – and so I have given from the heart, honestly and happily. And now see all these people doing the same, giving freely, willingly – what a joy! O God, God of our fathers Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, keep this generous spirit alive forever in these people always, keep their hearts set firmly in you. And give my son Solomon an uncluttered and focused heart so that he can obey what you command, live by your directions and counsel, and carry through with building The Temple for which I have provided.
THINK: When David talks about our lives as “mere shadows”–that everything we have is actually only being borrowed from God–how does that strike you? What item do you own, or what relationship do you have, that you hold more tightly that you would a shadow? Be honest.
So…be honest, huh?! Well, the one thing that I held the dearest – more dear to my heart than God (remember, I am being honest) – was my relationship with my husband. Then, my control over my life. Actually, I guess those two were probably interchangeable. I’ve realized that in the last year-and-a-half. I’ve always had a pretty tight grip on most things I love. It’s hard to learn to let go, or to hold things with an open hand, as some of my friends put it. The scripture from Job: the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away comes to mind. I don’t know, but I’m curious if this last year we’ve been through would’ve been so hard had I not been so determined not to let go of what God was asking of me.
PRAY: As you approach God in prayer, picture yourself bringing with you the item that is hard to hold loosely. Talk to God about what keeps you attached to it. Don’t try to navigate the prayer so that by the end you are letting go of your treasured thing. Don’t try to force yourself to be less attached to it than you actually are. Simply talk to God while you imaginatively hold it tightly in your hands, and tell him about why it’s so important to you. Keep in mind that if you are still in the same position internally at the end of your prayer time, that’s okay.
I find it interesting, and a bit convicting, that this part of the day’s devotional says not to try to manipulate the prayer so that, by the end of it, I am letting go of my treasured thing. Usually, that is precisely what I end up trying to do because I would rather be “right” than be honest. Sometimes, honest is not pleasing. Sometimes, my honest feels down-right nasty. And I find myself questioning, why on earth, would God listen to a prayer that is not nice, let alone answer one. A part of me knows that God is more interested in my being able to be honest with him, since honesty is a sign of intimacy in a relationship. However, the part of me that does not want to be a disappointment, just wants him to be pleased with me. So…I try to tell Him what I think He would rather hear. It seems, we are always children in some respects.
Luckily, this part goes on to encourage me not to try to force myself to be less attached to “it” than I actually am. Good thing! I would have a hard time not being attached to my husband and marriage. Especially since I took vows (twice – once in a marriage, and once in a renewal) stating that I would stick with the guy until death we do part. How can I offer that up to God and pretend that I am not attached to it? I know, essentially, what I have to do is to not place that marriage in a position above where I place God. I know that my prayer needs to be that our marriage would honor and glorify God. But, HONESTLY, most of the time, I just want to live with and grow old with this man. I know that God has not taken that away from me for good, just for now. But the just for now has also taken a father away from his children. The Navy did that for years. But, he was ready to be home. He was about to retire. We were about to have him all to ourselves. And now, THIS!
LIVE: Take a few more minutes to reflect on what talking to God was like as you held on to the item you’re unwilling to give up – at least not easily. Did you feel guilty or uncomfortable, or do you have trouble being honest with him? Why might that be?
I haven’t had trouble being honest with God. This time. I don’t feel guilty not wanting to let go of my marriage or relationship in order to fully entrust it to God. I’ve come to realize that it’s a process. I want to want what God wants for me. But, the truth is, quite often it’s a scary prospect. I know that He has plans to prosper me, to give me a hope and a future. And I know that future will include my husband. It has to because we are not divorced, and he did not die. He has just been removed from us temporarily. We often joke that, instead of being on deployment for the Navy, now he is on a deployment for the Lord. The reasons he is gone ABSOLUTELY BITE! We did nothing to “deserve” this. Standing accused and being convicted of something you didn’t do is AWFUL! But my man is not the first, and he certainly will not be the last. Especially in a society where the victim must always be right and the repercussions for lying are non-existent. But…that is not my responsibility. My responsibility is to live my life in a way that honors and glorifies God, and train up my children to do the same, regardless of what life throws at us. I wish I could say that I’m getting it right. Maybe more than that, I wish I could say that I felt like I was getting it right. Or at least, I wish I felt like I was striking out less than I am. I also wish I felt like I was standing on ground that was a little sturdier than I feel like it is. Most days, all I’ve got is the will not to quit. And, I’m convinced that is what’s going to propel me through to the end. Proverbs 24:16 says that a righteous man falls seven times but gets up again; so, I’m going to keep getting back up.
How about you?
Day Forty-Four: Because of His Repentance
READ: 1 Kings 21:20-29 or see the Expanded Passage of 1 Kings 20-21
(20-22) Ahab answered Elijah, “My enemy! So, you’ve run me down!”
“Yes, I’ve found you out,” said Elijah. “And because you’ve bought into the business of the evil, defying God. ‘I will most certainly bring doom upon you, make mincemeat of your descendants, kill of every sorry male wretch who’s even remotely connected with the name Ahab. And I’ll bring down on you the same fate that fell on Jeroboam son of Nebat and Baasha son of Ahijah–you’ve made me that angry by making Israel sin.'”
(23-24) As for Jezebel, God said, “Dogs will fight over the flesh of Jezebel all over Jezreel. Anyone tainted by Ahab who dies in the city will be eaten by stray dogs; corpses in the country will be eaten by carrion crows.”
(25-26) Ahab, pushed by his wife Jezebel and in open defiance of God, set an all-time record in making big business of evil. He indulged in outrageous obscenities in the world of idols, copying the Amorites whom God had earlier kicked out of Israelite territory.
(27) When Ahab heard what Elijah had to say, he ripped his clothes to shreds, dressed in penitential rough burlap, and fasted. He even slept in coarse burlap pajamas. He tiptoed around, quiet as a mouse.
(28-29) Then God spoke to Elijah the Tishbite: “Do you see how penitently submissive Ahab has become to me? Because of his repentance I’ll not bring the doom during his lifetime; Ahab’s son, though, will get it.”
THINK: Imagine yourself as Elijah, noticing what you think and feel throughout this tale. (See the expanded passage for more details.) Read the passage again until you reach God’s words to Ahab and Jezebel, and the description of what they have done to defy him. Pause there.
PRAY: As you picture yourself speaking God’s words of judgment to Ahab, listen to what you are saying. What does God’s anger toward this enemy make you feel? Do you feel the same anger God does over injustice? If not, what does Ahab’s sin make you feel? When you picture the three of you there–Ahab, God, and you–what position is your inclined to take toward each of them? Talk to God about your response.
LIVE: Meditate on the following prayer from the Book of Common Prayer (1979): “The Lord is full of compassion and mercy: O come, let us adore him,” Notice what your response is. If there is something you need to repent of today, go to God and receive his mercy. If you want to adore him for his compassion, spend time doing so. If you don’t want to adore God, take time to open yourself to the reality that he is praiseworthy. Don’t force yourself to feel things you don’t feel or say things you don’t mean, but do consider the reality acknowledged in the prayer.
As I sit here thinking about this lesson and what I want to say in response to the reading and the questions, Signature of Divine (Yahweh) by Needtobreathe is on my Pandora “Needtobbreathe” station. For some reason, their songs, and other more alternative groups like these help me to think and focus. I think it’s because they are so alternative that I have to pay more attention to understand what they are saying in parts, or to understand what they are meaning. I’m not sure what it is, but I know that hearing about Yahweh going before me is good for my soul as I think about what I want to type.
Yahweh is so high above me that it is difficult to imagine, as the song says, that we truly are the signature of the Divine. How can it be that The Holy Trinity would pour so much into mankind that would turn their backs on the gift? How can it be that God would send His Only Son to act as propitiation for the sins of men who would never come to know or accept the gift of His Life? Of Eternal Life?
How could it be that God would send His Only Son for a man like Ahab? How could God possibly show such mercy to a man who didn’t seem to care one lick for the rules of the God who led the Israelites out of Egypt to give them the Promised Land? To clarify: that is not a statement of judgment upon Ahab, regarding his sins as any worse than any of mine. To God, there is no difference between Ahab’s sins and mine. God has shown me easily as much mercy as Ahab’s whether I’ve realized it fully or not. The question is more about why, in the world, God would do such a thing in the first place.
Of course, the answer is: because He is willing that none should perish, but that all would repent and make Jesus Lord of their lives so that we could spend eternity with our Creator. That’s it. It feels like there ought to be a “but” here. But there isn’t. It’s just that simple. He wants us. And He wants us to want Him back. That’s it. That is the heart of compassion, true compassion, that only a Creator can show His creation. And with that, I will close.
Dear Heavenly Father,
You are Lord of all. All things were created by you for your good pleasure. Even the unlikeliest of sinners can be redeemed and fulfill the purpose for which You created them, if only they accept that Christ is Your Son, they repent and receive Him into their hearts as Lord and Savior. Nobody is too far gone that they can escape Your Hand of Grace and Mercy. Though we run to the ends of the Universe, there is nowhere we can go to get away from you, for you created it all with just a word, and all of creation obeys your voice. All of creation will bow to your will sooner or later. Lord, I pray that, tonight, for anyone reading this who may be lost, thinking that they’ve gone so far away from you that they have to make their way back to you, you would reassure them, that you are there. Wherever that is, you are there. If there is anyone reading this who has an ache in their souls, an emptiness they’ve been trying to fill with sex or money or drugs or work or pornography or gambling, show them that there is only one place that emptiness can be filled and that is at the well of living waters, Jesus Christ, who satisfies eternally so that they no longer have to thirst after things that always leaving them feeling more and more empty. May they be like Ahab, penitent to the point of tearing their clothes and crying out to you desperately for mercy. Meet them where they are tonight, Lord. Meet each one us right where we are. There is not a one of us who can make it through our next hour without you. And for some others of us, we need you for our next minute, our next second.
For those of us who have already answered your call, help us to walk obediently in that calling. Help us to be Jesus with skin on, and help us to glorify your name. Where there is hurting, help us to be a comfort. Where there is darkness, help us to be a light.
For the people who sit in prisons all over the world, for your name’s sake, please offer them solace and a person to witness to. Strengthen their spirits, Lord. Meet their needs in such a way that their jailers cannot help but know that the Lord of All Creation is at work.
Though we do not deserve it, Lord, be merciful unto us. We need you more than we can possibly understand.
In Your Son’s Precious and Holy Name I pray, Amen.
Go here to check out the lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/needtobreathe/signatureofdivineyahweh.html
Go here to check out a YouTube video of the song, that shows the lyrics while the song plays in the background:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWDRRuM9z1Q
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